There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
