i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
