did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize