I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
