..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
