It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
