32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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