Buhtt sex?
I am spending my child support on dildos
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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