I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
