I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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