when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
