I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
