Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
