hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I did not marry a roomba.
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