Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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