Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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