I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
