I hope mine doesn't look like that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
