1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
