Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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