absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
