last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
