Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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