Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
