I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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