Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
