No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
there is glitter all over my balls
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
