just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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