After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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