I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
