He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize