Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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