just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There r osticjed everywhere
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
