My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
