I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
