Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
