do herpes really smell.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
