i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize