You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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