i just google imaged poop.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
