so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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