Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
