so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
