Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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