if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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