I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Even my vagina gasped.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
