Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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