we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
