I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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