Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
