Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
organizing the empties. That sober.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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