On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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