if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
