...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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