ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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