TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
