why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
