But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
