Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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