i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
