all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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