I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
