Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
