ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
