Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think people are normalizing furries
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
