he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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