Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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