My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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