dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
