i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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