I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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