I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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