The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
