Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
