I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
