Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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