If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize