Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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