I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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