Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wish you could order shots online.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
